We're still fighting it

Only Boilermaker Injury

I am not one to believe in Karma. I am however one to believe in negative energy and that if you promote negativity, more negative things happen; which is the case this week.

After the Boilermaker, I went into blister care 101. It was the only amount of physical pain that I was in. While I did the steps of sterilize the needle, poke & drain, Neosporin & bandage, witch hazel and air at night, my skin still cracked. So I have a lot of new baby skin on my foot. It’s painful.

That is not where my negativity comes from.  It comes from waiting. It comes from feeling just the tiny bit empty because something is missing, more like someone. If you know me, you know my tattoo and you know I don’t believe in something being missing, I believe in ebb & flow.   In the long run, this is just the ebb. When in an ebb my thoughts go dark and it is sometimes hard to get out of them.

I don’t depend on people. I just don’t. It takes a lot for me to ask for help and I have gotten better at it over the years.  Still, I’ve had this person who I talked to about everything and really the distance would be OK if we just talked. It’s the silence that is killing me. I know it’s needed for re-adjustment there and here.  It’s just the feeling like you’ve lost someone, someone important.

I also have a hard time pretending. I used to pretend all through high school that everything was great. When people asked “how are you doing?”, I’d say fine, great, super but I was really miserable. I’ve always given the advice to sit with what you are feeling. Well for the past four days I’ve felt angry, sad, hurt and numb. My friends are great because they check in with me. My cast mates are great because they try to get me to laugh.

Still, everyone sees it, this sadness behind my eyes.... 

I’ve been trying to get my blistered skin back into shape so I can start running three days a week again. This morning at the doctors my diastolic blood pressure (pressure while the heart is relaxed) was 20 points higher than normal.  I need my stress to go down and I need my physical activity to get back to normal.  I know it will help with my anger and it will keep me away from "bad things" ;alcohol, fast driving, food binging, and hitting things.  My anger management skills are being tested daily and when my schedule or things I’ve been looking forward to just fall through, well I start to unravel. 

So since plans fell through,  I’ll go to the batting cages today and just hit something with a bat. Each ball gets labeled with an emotion (or sometimes a person). I’m supposed to say it when I hit it. Often small children at the batting cages are scared of me. I say it makes for a teachable moment.

I have come a really far way from who I was, a not confident, obese, depressed girl who waited around for life to happen to her. I get scared when I revert back to that. It takes a lot to fight it. But I’m still fighting it.

This weekend I’ll go back to Oswego, for my college roommates wedding! 

I just want an Oswego sunset or a trip to the water behind Johnson (or Breitbeck Park) I’ll be around fraternity brothers and good friends. I’ll be Dapper Dan in his best summer suit and bow-tie. I’ll still be a little damaged and sad but I’ll be fighting it.

The edge of improbable

Sunday I took a trip with a friend to go watch one of her friends run the Lake Placid Half Marathon.  While it was a good day for running it was a cold and sometimes wet day for spectators. This was the first time since all of my running where I went to go watch a race. The crowd of runner’s looked smaller than the crowds of 4,000 – 9,000 runners I’ve been seeing at my races. I had run a 5K the day before so my leg was stiff but I was jumpy, I wanted to be running in the race. That is just crazy to me. 

My friend asked some questions about running while we walked to the start line. It was neat that I could answer some of them. A few people have been asking me some running questions. Most are about blisters, or how often I run, or why I got started. It was a nice day trip, I had a good time, but I was exhausted from the previous night and exhausted after driving us back home. I’ve been trying to catch up on sleep but it’s been on the edge of improbable. 

Today was physical therapy. Since the podiatrist said no running or impact exercises my therapist had to change our game plan. She watched me on the bike and on the elliptical machines to make sure I had correct placement and just told me to do a few stretches. She also wants me to get in the pool these next two weeks. So I’m going to have to either jump in my friend’s pool or buy a few guest passes for the YMCA.

My goal is to jump on the bike tonight but I’m hanging on by a thread. I’ve had over 60 ounces of caffeinated beverages today just to keep me awake at work. It’s crazy and I don’t like it but I’ve lost a lot of time today and I’ve forgotten things like the fact that I had already eaten breakfast at home but I picked up breakfast after therapy. I ate two breakfast sandwiches after just eating a bowl of cereal an hour or two before. Usually I also don’t have more coffee or soda than one 16 ounce cup in the morning. But within one hour of finishing 20 oz, I was getting another 20oz, and then I got another 20oz two hours later. 

I should be wired, jumpy, and fidgety but I’m not. I’m lethargic.  I don’t know if something is wrong. I’m keeping track of it along with my medicine just to see if it is that. I’m hoping it’s just that I’m tired, that my body is tired. This week is light on rehearsals so it’s an early to bed and late to rise type of week and I’m ok with that.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope

When I hit the wall, I reached out for help, life support from Tiny Dancer, runner camaraderie & friend support from D, and technical support from Dragon.

I facebook messaged Dragon* right after my run. I knew I needed a bit of coaching support and he had offered on an earlier day that if I needed someone to talk to he was there.

The message I sent was simple.

“Dragon, I could use a pep talk mixed in with how to spot overuse/over training call. Any time of day or night. –Hollie”

He called me later that evening and we talked about my shin about when to see a sports medicine physician, what to look for in one as well. We talked about form, pace, stride rate.  How many days a week I was running? That hitting a wall was inevitable but you can get through it. That if I wanted to run the boilermaker I should just run the boilermaker no matter how long it takes me. That mid-foot or forefront running is a good thing to look at and to just relax my feet & let them flap a little. That when he’s home for Easter maybe the Dragon family and the Miller’s can go for a little 3 mile run together.

He talked to me about stride rate and asked if I knew about it and if I knew what my rate was. I knew that stride rate was how quickly your feet took each step. I however, have no clue what my stride rate is. So Dragon said “that’s the only thing I want you to focus on right now, 180 that’s the magic number. It will feel like exaggerated baby steps", he said. However, he did not know how comforting those three words are to me.

For most runners there is a magic number of 180 (or 90 counting one foot) in one minute is the magic number to be striding at a rate that is using your muscles efficiently. Dragon said “it’s a magic number because no one can tell me why it’s 180, it’s just magic.”

He said he would send me some stuff for me to look at, as well as stuff for my one day a week cross training he suggested I add. He sent me awesome stuff. I’ve spent the past two days looking at everything he has given me.

I also found a sports medicine physician, where they have a sports medicine center and it’s in the same Schenectady office that was great with my shoulder surgery. I’m going in on Tuesday to have the doc take a look at my shin. As even today with one day of rest, my right leg & shin feel great but my left is throbbing a bit and a bit of wincing on the stairs occurred as well.

I know there are some of you who take a gander at this who are running as well, so I’m including the links Dragon sent me because they are great and this will make it easier for me to find down the road again.

What Dragon Recommends:
Stride rate stuff!
180 bpm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRgTxa5ak8I
180 bpm: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-267--11604-0,00.html
180 bpm music: http://www.dailymile.com/forums/general-running/topics/577-songs-in-the-165-180-bpm-range-i-need-more
180 bpm music: http://www.facebook.com/ladysouthpawmusic#!/ladysouthpawmusic

Running Right "video is sales pitch for shoes, you don’t need the shoes but the info in the video on form is good"

What is forefoot running?  “pay special attention to the "jog".  that's what you should be doing right now.  worry about speed later.”

*Dragon helps coach runners in the NYC Team In Training program and he's an awesome member of The Disco Squad. (I'm evnious of his adventures in running, but he's confident I can get there if I want to)

Hitting the Wall

When I hear the words “Hitting the Wall”, it sounds like Ben Folds singing “Missing the War”. You could say I hit my first wall; I don’t really like to admit that I hit a wall but I did. I’m still in the middle of getting through it but I definitely fell flat into the wall yesterday.

Yesterday was my scheduled training run; it was also the longest run for the span of 14 weeks. It’s the first set of repeats where the running is more than the walking. I had gone to the park because all the trails are open now and it gives me a glimpse of running a road race where there is little inclines spread throughout the path. Monday I had run in the park and I logged 3.6 miles and with running & walking I was at a pace of 16’19” for the 1^st mile, 16’30” the 2^nd mile, and 17’21 the 3^rd mile. My legs felt like lead but I did two loops of the park.

Yesterday, I had been thinking about the long running time all day, it’s actually the workout I’ve been most scared of when I took an overview of the entire program. So mentally it’s a bit of a challenge for me. It’s the workout that when I get through it, I will know that the rest of the workouts are possible.

I started out on my run. It was cold & dreary but I loved running in that during my training in September & November. I made it through one full loop of the park. I was getting side stitches, my left shin was throbbing. I stopped to stretch my side out once and then stopped to try and stretch my shin out. I started walking after stretching out my shin and then the timer instructed me to “run now”. I tried. It hurt. Mentally I couldn’t fight that hurt.

I had been fighting all week mentally to not do something that makes me happy. I know that sounds stupid but I was trying to protect my heart. I felt so defeated after I stopped my run. I was having all of these thoughts rush through my head. EAT PIZZA was the first one. Then, eat ICE CREAM. Shovel food into your mouth, not for flavor but for gorging. Destroy your hard work, was the overarching theme. Drinking to excess & smoking also came to mind. I didn’t want to be thinking these things but they take over when I feel defeated. So, I stopped denying myself what I wanted. I called 3 people and sent an email from my phone saying I needed support.

The simple & silly conversation I had, the quick and dirty pep talk on my Facebook comments, the loving voicemail I was left, and the great shop talk evening phone call. It all gives a little spark to the soul and that’s what I need.

What I also came away with from all my conversations is that I am the one who sets my goals. Not other people. So what if I’m approaching death at the end of boilermaker? Die trying right? Also, I’ve got to find a sports medicine specialist, preferably one who is also an endurance athlete.  I’ve got something working in my left shin that I need to have someone look at.

My mini goals:

1.       See sports medicine specialist

2.       Count my stride rate – only focus on that

3.       Throw in one day of cross training a week.

Power songs & worst case scenarios

This weekend was minus running. I wanted to take it easy on my knee since Friday at work using the stairs the little that I had, seemed to aggravate it. Saturday I walked a little with two friends and their dogs around the park, probably two miles work of walking and I did ok.

I told a few of my friends. I’m in a rut for my motivation.

I know that it is probably due to the fact that I’ve been working on the treadmill for the past few weeks instead of running outside. However, I know it’s also because I have some doubts, some fears and because I also have those in my active life besides my running life….well I’m struggling with my doubts.

Can I really have everything that I want?  In my running, active, and work life.

That sounds very douchy, I know.  

In talking with a friend this past weekend I explained that I have a really good life. I have a job that pays me money & gives me health benefits (but is unfulfilling). I have activities in my non-work life that keep me busy.  I have friends who understand me and make me laugh.

I should be happy & content with all of that. Yet, I’m looking to grow – to push myself. Safe, content, stationary. Those are all the words that my anxiety disorder craves. That my disorder craves. Challenge, fight, glory. Those are the words that I crave.

So that goes into my running world. Talking to a friend who is an accomplished runner, she heard me talk about running, where I’m at. She listened to my worst case scenario plan for The Boilermaker, which is that if I can run/walk 4 miles in 52 minutes, then 9.6 miles in 3 hours feels possible. She said you don’t want to have to do that race in 3 hours; if I can't run it in 2 hours I shouldn't do it; it’s the heat that will kill you. That maybe I should look for a 10K and go for that and not take on The Boilermaker.  She is right about the heat, possibly even right about the race.

Could I just race a 10K and feel good about myself. Yes, I could. It’s a safe and achievable goal. The Boilermaker feels just like it’s on the edge of crazy. It’s a challenge, a fight, and when I finish it I will have personal glory. (I could die through the whole race – there are a million “what ifs” & I don’t imagine looking pretty at the end of the race)

My friend D who I am running the race with told me she drove the race course this weekend, that there is one intimidating hill (which there could be more hills, just ones less intimidating to D – so I have to confirm that with her).  It makes me nervous. I am scared of giving up, especially when I feel unmotivated.

So today I’m searching for anything to shake me up, get me in the right frame of mind. I heard U2’s Beautiful Day as I drove into work this morning. So, I’m placing it on the list of power songs. I know the strength is inside me to get through everything I am going through. I just can’t see an endpoint; and well, maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I don’t need an end point. Maybe I just need to keep going.

Bad form Peter.

Last night I decided to use the treadmill because it was still a little windy outside and I had to be out for an hour and by the time I was finished it would have been dark out. So I stretched a little, got ready to start my workout, and I was doing really well. I made it to the 4^th out of 10 running section and then my knee started to hurt. It wasn’t a hurt that was a sore hurt it was a “hey I really notice that pain when I land” hurt. Then I started to notice the pain a bit more.  I slowed it down to a walk and I still noticed the pain.

I hobbled off the treadmill, up the three steps and I grabbed all my ice packs and set up the foam wedge on my bed so I could elevate my legs. I learned the R.I.C.E method of Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation (plus take anti-inflammatory meds) from my many days of trying to be a varsity volleyball player (I really sat on the bench a lot) I wasn’t feeling any pain because I took my aleve and my Formula 303 and I just rested.

Last night I posted a picture of my sad story on facebook and got asked a few questions, so I’m going to attempt to answer them here…

My fancy ice packs for my knees. They are the greatest things ever. I own four of them so I could ice both knees and not have to worry about refreezing the ones I just used. You can get them through CVS’s website – they are called PEAS ice packs. The straps on them allow you to really get them snug to your knee, so I like them a lot. My other ice packs are from Walgreens and they are just the compression ice pack. I wish I had more of them because at times I could use two whole ones on each leg icing down my shins but I make do with what I have.

I keep saying how poor form caused me to twist my knee last night. It’s because I keep experimenting with my form. The best thing to keep in mind is to run with good posture. Keep your back fairly straight, keep your head up, shoulders relaxed, arms bent loosely but kept close into the body not swinging past your belly button,  imagine your hands are inside a snack size bag of potato chips, and keep your stride comfortable.

Yet there is more about form that you can work with. Many of my friends run with the POSE  or CHI method. I have read about them through various sites ( runners world )  and I try to grasp my head around them. This is where some of my experimentation lies. I try to lean forward at the ankles a little, I try to land on the middle of my foot instead of my heel, and I try to make sure my big toes are not crouching upward. I try to focus on my breath, think about my mental state while running, and let the sound of my strike pattern work like a metronome.  Running Warehouse has a way you can film your gait and send it to them that I keep wanting to do.

The only reason I mess around with my form is because my shins hurt when I started and my toes kept on curling upward, so I had friends who are runners who would suggest watching little things. There is also a really great photo time lapse series in the book The 4 Hour Body that shows how someone’s form can change from regular to proper form.  I say don’t get caught up in form when you are first starting to walk/run. I only started getting caught up in it during the C25K when I had to run my first 20 minutes without walking.  I do think about it a lot more now because I am going farther distances, trying to build my endurance, and trying to not tire out my legs as quickly as they are tiring some days.

So for right now, I’ll take my Saturday run off and I’ll try the end of week five for C210K on Monday. If things still feel weird I’ll give it another day and probably make a doctor’s appointment. But I can tell it’s not that serious of a pain and my leg is just a little stiff today, nothing a casual stroll outside at lunch time won’t cure.

TPC: Elephant Shell & Champ

First off, I need a Dapper Dan moment of silence in fond appreciation......



http://www.valetmag.com/style/products/2011/twisted-classic-bape-leather-wing-tip-brogues-040611.php



These shoes are amazing. I wish I had them, amazing. They have the classic style of a wing-tip with witty youthful details, why yes, I do believe its love.

________

While I am in a good mood today I do have one thing that was a bit upsetting. (not really the right word but can’t find the right fit) My mom had urged me to step on the scale this morning. A few posts ago I wrote how I don’t use the scale to keep track of my accomplishments. I do keep track of my weight however when I do check it. It goes in a program that makes a chart so I can see the shifts and changes.  I stepped on the scale and was 2.5 pounds heavier. I saw this look in my mom’s eyes, like she was sad for me. I however knew that I ate like crap last week and that it could be muscle being built and that I had reduced my body fat. It took my mom about a minute to get to that realization and then blurt it out in the morning in an “I love you anyway and I’m trying to be supportive” tone.

Last night I ran later than normal. I came home and was famished so I ate dinner first. Normally it would be ok but I thought about cramping and how long I should wait before running. The average time was about 1-2 hours for full digestion. I didn’t have two hours, so I got to about 50 minutes of digestion before jumping on the treadmill. While it was an easier feeling run, I found myself cramping up at bit at the end of each running section but recovering through the walk portion.  I also found that during the 2 minutes 30 seconds of running that I like to look down at the clock after a minute and a half of running.  Each time I thought I was pushing myself longer before looking at the clock and each time I would be frustrated that a few times I looked after only a minute.

I’m looking forward to a bit of warmer weather on Thursday and I’ve snuck a peek at East-West road when I’ve driven by. So I am hoping the entire park is rid of snow on the alternate paths. I’d really like to run outside and transition back to the road instead of the treadmill.

After last night’s run I went out to a rock show in downtown Albany. I went to see Tokyo Police Club. If you like Vampire Weekend, VHS or Beta, Weezer, Yo La Tengo or The Decemberists – well I think you might enjoy these lovely Canadian lads. The opening act of Hollerado was actually decent (to the point of possible purchase).  I stood for two hours amongst a sea of upstate college hipster men wearing every version of plaid, nerdy girls with quirky t-shirts with giant X’s on their hands, and adults out late on a work night (like me).

Although my legs and hips are paying for it this morning, it was so worth it. 1. Because I went out by myself, not stopping my enjoyment because of being scared of being alone someplace. 2. Because I love music.  3. Because you have to live life to share your life and have someone be attracted to what you share.

Martin Sheen...he played Kennedy once

When I started this blog I thought it would mostly be about my running journey. I mean I have a personal blog that I keep important non filtered and non-censored posts. Yet it’s a mixture of running, food issues, and emotional items. I mean all of those things combined equate health, so I figure its fair game.

Today is a day for running. I momentarily thought about waking up early and running. It’s still somewhere in the back of my mind that many long distance dedicated running get up early and run their little hearts out before the rest of the world is starting their day. I used to be the early riser wake up and go right to the gym when I worked with a trainer. It made sense; it was on my commute to work. Still, this morning I thought about it, then I let the thought go back to sleep.

I didn’t bring my stuff to work to run either. It’s just I love that darn treadmill at home, it’s also not wanting to think about an extra change of clothes to go to the event I want to go to later.

I also didn’t want to run this morning and wanted to do it later this evening as a hope to wake my ass up later. I’m starting the take chances part of my life, trying to have ownership of my happiness. So I’m going out later tonight. A band I enjoy is coming into town so I’m heading out to a show that starts at 9pm. It’s not like my job requires a large amount of alertness in the morning, so I’m taking it back – I’m taking them all back.

Compromise

This weekend was all about compromise. There were times when it worked in my favor and times when it worked against me. The prior week’s had been rough and I was looking forward to spending time over the weekend with several groups of friends reconnecting and recommitting to my friendships.

Sunday morning I woke up, hopped on the treadmill and pulled out my longest training session to date.  It was a full 68 minutes.  I’m working up to next week’s 78 minute training session.  It was a nice run. My legs didn’t feel like lead as they had on Friday. I had to slow my pace down a bit towards the end of my run but I kept going. I must also admit that with my gallivanting around on Saturday I smoked about four cigarettes. I knew this would kill my lungs on Sunday but I crave hurtful things when I am drinking. (it’s a weakness I’m working on) Each day this weekend I had a drink, which is a lot for me. Friday night I had too much to drink, and the rest of the weekend my hydration suffered. Saturday I had a small beer, and Sunday I ran to earn that Bloody Mary at brunch.

At Sunday brunch I pulled out my calendar to make some dates with the newly formed brunch club and I was surprised by my April and how much I’ve got going on. Some comments were made during this weekend's events that were welcomed (like Hollie’s circle of friends runs very wide and you’d be surprised who she’s connected to.) and other comments that were not welcomed – that I sat with in the evening hours.

I spent time this weekend doing things I love. I shared many of meals with friends, watched movies with my brother, drank some very needed (and strong) Margarita’s, and I drove around in the sunshine singing show tunes. I felt good.

A while ago I had given myself permission. Permission to compromise my heart until I felt my obligations were fulfilled, I know this sounds vague.  Well, I had that last moment this weekend. It was terribly hard and I am glad that I am busy the month of April.

So now the only compromise I’ll make is to which thing I love more. Not which will make someone else happier instead of me. I’m going to take April for myself and we’ll see how this goes.

mama wants

I have been waiting forever for this to come out. I could have bought it yesterday but I hesitated. Now it's out of stock. However, it's a want and not a need.

but mama likes.

Workforce Challenge

So I get to add another race to my spring schedule which is great. I’m excited to have two 5K’s under my belt for the season before running in The Boilermaker.

Last year I got to see several people run in the CDPHP Workforce Challenge in Albany.  It’s basically the same race route as the Freihofer's Run for Women too. So it will be neat to see how I improve between the two races.

Today I’m attempting the training run I couldn’t make it through on Wednesday. I’m determined to get through it. I really want to. I’m feeling a bit of a Saddened Steve momentum overtaking my life right now. I just want to burst through with a little happy.

My food journal is also looking at me like she’s not too happy with me. OK, let’s get this right, I’m not too happy with me and my food choices lately. It’s been a lot of emotional eating, so lots of extras, and lots of little things that I don’t really need. Also I haven’t eaten a meal at home since Tuesday.  These are all things that I need to take a look at. My two Fluffernutter sandwiches for lunch today are not helping. The donuts & bagel sandwich this morning didn’t help either.  The pizza, desert, and margarita’s I’ll consume this evening also won’t help. So I’ve got to set a clean date again. It might be Monday because I’ve got a lot going on this weekend.

The Long Haul

I think why I run, is to remind myself of how good I am.

I know, this sounds cocky. What I mean by it is, running is hard and at times painful but somehow I find the way to fight through it.

I hopped on the treadmill last night after a very long day of over thinking. I set the playlist and started the warm up. I was thrilled with only fifty-two minutes compared to Saturday’s Sixty-three minutes. I tested out some new stretches before starting and had found the most fantastic compression short that helps with the chafing issue. I rocked my blue headband, blasted a whole lot more Ke$ha than one should really ever own, and I started my work out.

The way the treadmill is set up in the back room allows you to look out of the window a bit. I try not to look down at the timer while I’m running inside because outside I never get to see how much time is left; I just trust the announcement that is made through my headphones.

Each work out runs the same way, five minute warm up then right into running for my allotted time, into walking/recovery, back into running again. The application counts down how many times it repeats and I can see a 4 out of 8 right underneath walk or run. So I know how many repeats I have left. The first two times of running are fine, the next two I’m often trying something new with form or speed, then the 4-6 repeats are the toughest. The ones where my asthma is very close to kicking in, where my shin decides to become tight, where my stomach decides to revolt from the stress of the day, or where my shoulder gets really annoyed at the movement.  In other words, it gets really difficult.

I often have this dead gaze while I’m running. Any member of my varsity volleyball team could describe the look. They also could describe the anger grunts that would follow my serve. These things come out while working on a hard part of my run. The grunts come out, the dead gaze is staring at the colorform’s craft decals my mother decorates windows with.  Often a squirrel is shouted at in my head.  At least once I tell myself to quit and get off the treadmill. It is always at least once.

Last night fighting through all the thoughts in my head throughout the whole day, while being on the treadmill having your legs feel exhausted because you are pushing yourself. Well, it reminded me that I can do the long haul, that I’ve always been able to do the long haul. A few of my friends reminded me of that last night through some great emails.

So I know it’s not going to get better instantly but I know I’m good for the long haul.

Running down a dream

At Christmas time my friend had said to me “soon you’ll be running 5K’s as an easy warm up run.”

I thought he was crazy when he said that. I mean, I knew he wasn’t crazy I just hadn’t imagined it.

Tuesday the treadmill was all set up, I got up early, and I plugged away on my C210K and finished up the third week. I was running at a clip of 5 mph when running and walking at 3.2 mph while walking. When I last ran on a treadmill my running speed was 3.7 mph.

As I ran my full 57 minutes I kept looking at the distance traveled. I was approaching the 2.8 miles that I normally run while training. I went past that. Then I hit 3.2 miles (an actual 5K) I threw my hands up in the air and was excited – but I was still running. At the end of it all it was a full 3.5 miles.

3.5 miles that I didn’t train for.

3.5 miles that I wasn’t putting on a race bib for.

3.5 miles that I was running at 6:30am before going to work.

It was a training run. That means walking & running. It took me 57 minutes to walk/run 3.5 miles. It gives me hope. It tells me that worst case scenario with The Boilermaker would be right at the three hour limit. After training several more weeks and getting to the point of full running, well who knows where I will be.  It’s kind of cool and it makes me smile.

Pitfall

I’m not talking about the awesome old school Atari game where you jump over alligators, swing on ropes, and jump over quicksand. I’m talking about pitfalls, downtrodden moments, the dirty, too much information, very embarrassing, kind of gross moments.

There are pitfalls to running.  Every runner’s website has articles about the pitfalls. Like “Embarrassing Running Problems”

I have a few pitfalls going on. I’m working with sore feet as I had blisters last week and while they were healing one callus has now decided to crack and that hurts like hell. I’ve let them air out, I’ve soaked them in salted water to toughen them up, I’ve put Neosporin on the cracked part. They are fine when I am running. I put powder in my shoes, I have wick away socks, and my feet stay very dry. (It was my dress shoes for work that caused the initial blisters) It’s just that I’m paying for them now as I am wearing a different pair of dress shoes with black synthetic athletic dry socks.

Another reason for the hair cut last week was that the sweat occurring on my head was gross. It was clogging up my scalp and leading to a lot of breakouts on my scalp and around my hairline. It’s a horrible feeling and it makes me look like I’ve got a little problem with how much I scratch my head.

Lastly, the worst thing…is chafing. I’ve got all the items to help avoid it. Powders, Bodyglyde, Desitin. All of these things suck in one way or another. Either it’s not enough or it’s too much. When I’m running I can deal with the chafing, I can run through it. The painful part comes when taking a shower. Hot water on raw skin is just awful.  Also bleeding unexpectedly through clothes because of chaffed skin – not cool.

It’s not pretty but it’s honest. It takes time, learning how & why these things occur, and how to help them heal that helps in the long run.

let’s talk about hydration



Hydration Station



First thing to note, I am not hung-over. I am however dehydrated. Yesterday I walked 1 mile at lunch with my co-worker, ran 2.8 miles after work and that led right into dinner & evening activities.

While doing some reading on active.com and a few articles friends posted on Facebook, I knew that I was not the young whippersnapper who would be balls to the wall with a drink in her hand. I did know though I’d be partaking in a beer after a run. Upon reading “Alcohol and Running: Do they mix?” and “Why do hangovers seem so much worse as we get older?”  I knew to handle my drinking like I normally do. Drink the good stuff and have a glass of water in-between drinks. This is how I roll. Makers Mark on the rocks & a glass of water. Two drinks, three waters. Yet last night I had spring fever (really I had twitterpation) so the urge to run around and play was strong. So it was a margarita on the rocks salted while at dinner and two waters.

My friend and I then rolled over to Putnam Den. We were there to see Sirsy . (who always puts on an amazing show) I was asked to represent an Irish Car Bomb. I haven’t done that in ages, like maybe 2002. So I chugged down my pint of Guinness & Bailey’s and told myself to wait. Told myself to get a glass of water but I didn’t. The next two drinks were there for thirst sake. I should have realized it. The Guinness at end of the evening was to round out my evening; so five drinks over six hours, responsible…except for the lack of hydration.

Upon heading back to my friends to crash on his couch I started to realize I had cotton mouth. I got a glass of water when I settled down for the evening. At one point in the evening my right leg just cramped up, like jolted me up in pain cramp. I knew in the morning I would need water, maybe some potassium, and a bit of protein. Then I was kept awake all evening by a cat in heat.  So I am not hung over but I am severely exhausted.

I go back and forth on what I drink when I know I’m dehydrated. Something’s are for taste and potassium (VitaminWater – Revive), other’s are to remind me to keep drinking water (Liter of SmartWater), then the 2^nd coffee of the morning – that’s just to keep me alert. Yes, I know it’s a diuretic – that’s why I’m drinking more water.

Hydration is something I’m going to have to learn about. I didn’t run in the heat before so it will be a challenge to my body.  Active.com has some good articles. I like their “4 Key Hydration Tips for Runners” But for now, it’s quiet in the office. It’s a Friday, most people are in relaxed clothing, catching up on their gossip. Me? I am on my second cup of coffee with my shoes off, coaching myself on how to get through the day.

My Post Workout MacGyver Kit

Sometimes you'll have the ability to shower at the gym or at a friend’s house, other times you need to pretend to smell good. I used to keep a kit in my office and one in the trunk of my car for such times. When you commute 45 minutes to your place of employment and your girlfriend lived only 10 minutes away, you start to stay there more often. It was then that I realized I needed a MacGyver kit so I didn’t look like I had done the walk of shame the next morning into work after staying at my old girlfriend’s house.

My schedule is last week led to a hectic and often disheveled appearance. Mainly it is because I was waking up, going to work, and then I had something in the evening hours. It’s great I like to keep busy but I also am trying to keep to my running schedule. Take Wednesday for example, I woke up late just barely made coffee and then got to work with my giant gym bag in hand. My gym bag has a few small essentials encase I need to clean up for a night on the town. Thankfully tonight I am using a friend’s house to shower up after my run to make it to a social engagement that I would prefer to not be smelly at. So my post workout MacGyver kit did not need to be reassembled.

What is a MacGyver Kit you ask?

The other day I read a great post about a woman’s MacGyver kit, it showed a great bag that you could easily sew. I figured this would be a lot nicer than my current situation of having everything in the top drawer of my office desk.

What do I keep around? There are a few of these awesome personal wipes (with various uses) that are tablet size and will increase when you moisten them. http://www.canawipe.com/about.html

I also like keeping this shampoo bar in my bag because you can also use it as a mild soap too. http://secure.jrliggett.com/proddetail.php?prod=2004

But for those times that I can’t shower but I was cleaner looking hair, I reach for the Psssssst. (most often this is in my trunk bag) The packaging is also just really cool.
http://www.amazon.com/Psssssst-Instant-Spray-Shampoo-4-Ounces/dp/B000TCXEO8

Then I keep a travel toothbrush, travel toothpaste, deodorant, Advil, travel size lavender baby oil, chap-stick and a protein bar or shake packet. In the trunk of my car I usually also pack old sneakers, a pair of khaki’s, a change of undergarments, a t-shirt, thin sweater, and a baseball cap in a neutral color.

It’s come in handy several times over. I used to make kits like this for graduation presents. Things you'd need in a residence hall, or things you'd need as a commuter student. You'll see that perfume, body spray, etc. isn't on my list. The lavender baby oil is usually a replacement for scent & as a way to keep my skin really smooth. I just find it hard to keep my perfumes not freezing, or evaporating. (I have an travel atomizer but I have yet figured out how to open my Jo Malone without breaking the bottle.) 


Call it what you will; me being nerdy, my inner girl scout of always being prepared, my swagger life style. I just like to smell good. I am pretty sure my friends, co-workers, and dates appreciate it.

Run my hood.



Week 2 (C210K)



Running in my neighborhood usually occurs on the weekend. I ran on Sunday and it was the same as every run I've had in my neighborhood.  I see the same people out walking their dogs, have the same dogs try and chase me, and know that when my C210K tells me to "run now" it's often in the same spots. I know where the pavement is uneven, know when I hit a mile before my application tells me. 

When I trained using my C25K it was warm out, people watched me run, some said good morning. I imagined that people saw my progress. I never imagined people saw the awkward faces I make, or the shouting at myself to "fucking get through it." But people see those things and hear those things too. For one part of my run I am on the main drag of our town. I know what I think when I see someone running or biking early on the weekends. I think that person is crazy. Mix in some weather that you'd need a jacket for and most people driving past you think you are crazy.

Here is what is crazy for me. It's week two of running. When I was in about week five of my C25K training this was my neighborhood run. It was 1.62 miles for a total time of 31.31. It's week two and I'm almost at 3 miles in 48 minutes.

Week 5 (C25K)

Right now in C210K's week two I run for 1 minute and walk for 4 minutes and I repeat this eight times. In C25K's week five I was jogging for 5 minutes and walking 3 minutes for a total of 31 minutes.

Do I feel good? Yes I do.

D., reminded me to stretch out really well after my run. So it was stretch central on the kitchen floor. Then it was a glass of water, two aleve's and my ice packs (with a little Ellen Page on the big screen)

On a side note, I was watching Whip it. If you know me, you know that was a big thing for me. To consciously choose to put the movie on and enjoy it without any associations.

A lot of good things happened to me on this run today. My running image shifted. I talked briefly about having a mantra or running image in my post 9 Weeks ago I never really let anyone know what my image was. I mentioned it once to one person. It used to be one person at the finish line standing there cheering me on. Now, it's larger. It makes me smile. It's my image and I probably won't give it up to anyone until after The Boilermaker.