Saturday, April 6, 2013

Foundations need time to settle.

I ran four miles and then I got on a plane. It sounds crazy, almost like the start of a cheesy movie. I was hoping at some point along the race that I wouldn't feel as shitty mentally as I was.

I ran the Rabbit Ramble 4 mile race as the first race of my spring season. It was a nice race course, challenging enough but easy enough too. The sun was really bright that day despite the chill and sting from the wind that morning. I ran into Ed, Kait, and Kait's mom and we all walked up to the starting line together. Ed mentioned the intervals they were doing.

I hadn't even thought about that. I have been running the full time with each run that I have done so I haven't shifted back to an interval walk/run method yet. I know I'll have to because I'm starting to get up there in mileage. But I ran the entire Rabbit Ramble, and that is big for me. There were moments in the race that I'm pissed off about. Mainly the one running who had already finished her race and lapped me on her extra milage, she did proper running courtesy and said left loud enough to pass me but also loud enough for the two women I was getting ready to pass to hear, which caused them to start running, instead of run/walking. Those two women also walked the entire race until I passed them once.

I know there is nothing wrong with coming in as the dead last finish but it still sucks.

Ed and Kait came back to run me in, which is ALWAYS appreciated. However, there was an over exuberant girl who was cheering me on by cheering, running fast past me and cheering again. I might have smiled at you in the race but in my mind I was tripping you kid. Trust me.

I sprinted out my finish, as I always seem to do and I came in under an hour, which was my goal for the race. We headed back in and they were doing raffle give a way's, Ed won something.

I booked it out of there, got home, showered and then headed to the airport. I had debated taking my running shoes & clothes with me but i reminded myself this was supposed to be about rest. I still ended up walking about 4 miles on already tired legs the next day. But I haven't run since.

It's nice out today. I have a wedding later. I could just go and run right now. My body is telling me not to. My mind has said, you'll run tomorrow because it's supposed to be closer to 60 degrees out. It's telling me, you have no rehearsals next week so you can run three times next week. The mind is indeed the largest muscle you have to flex in order to run. My mind is not in a good place and it is terrifying to admit that.

Looking at last years stats, I matched March's number of runs at 8 runs during the month. Last Year in April, I had 10 runs. So that's the goal for April. Ten runs or more. The real goal is increasing my mileage at a steady rate but I don't want to think about the hours spent running for that. As it is, today was supposed to be 5 miles. Tomorrow, I'll try to run 4 again and do 5K's the rest of the week for my distance and I'll go up to 5 next week.

Plattsburgh, I just need a 22min per mile pace to finish the half marathon before it closes. I know I can do that. I know even just walking I'm at least 18 mins per mile. Maybe all of that will get me excited. Maybe the sunny weather will start to help. Maybe I'll find the right people to run with.

Just keep moving forward. Things will find the spaces they need to settle.