Compromise

This weekend was all about compromise. There were times when it worked in my favor and times when it worked against me. The prior week’s had been rough and I was looking forward to spending time over the weekend with several groups of friends reconnecting and recommitting to my friendships.

Sunday morning I woke up, hopped on the treadmill and pulled out my longest training session to date.  It was a full 68 minutes.  I’m working up to next week’s 78 minute training session.  It was a nice run. My legs didn’t feel like lead as they had on Friday. I had to slow my pace down a bit towards the end of my run but I kept going. I must also admit that with my gallivanting around on Saturday I smoked about four cigarettes. I knew this would kill my lungs on Sunday but I crave hurtful things when I am drinking. (it’s a weakness I’m working on) Each day this weekend I had a drink, which is a lot for me. Friday night I had too much to drink, and the rest of the weekend my hydration suffered. Saturday I had a small beer, and Sunday I ran to earn that Bloody Mary at brunch.

At Sunday brunch I pulled out my calendar to make some dates with the newly formed brunch club and I was surprised by my April and how much I’ve got going on. Some comments were made during this weekend's events that were welcomed (like Hollie’s circle of friends runs very wide and you’d be surprised who she’s connected to.) and other comments that were not welcomed – that I sat with in the evening hours.

I spent time this weekend doing things I love. I shared many of meals with friends, watched movies with my brother, drank some very needed (and strong) Margarita’s, and I drove around in the sunshine singing show tunes. I felt good.

A while ago I had given myself permission. Permission to compromise my heart until I felt my obligations were fulfilled, I know this sounds vague.  Well, I had that last moment this weekend. It was terribly hard and I am glad that I am busy the month of April.

So now the only compromise I’ll make is to which thing I love more. Not which will make someone else happier instead of me. I’m going to take April for myself and we’ll see how this goes.