If you know me, you’ve seen the tattoo that resides on my right forearm. It is a mobius strip, known to many others as the infinity symbol. The idea for the tattoo came from a majority of the reading that I was doing around 2006. I was reading Parker J. Palmer’s, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2004).
It was the idea that when thinking about a life, most people think if something is missing that there is some hole that needs to be filled. A hole has an inside and an outside. If you take that same line that creates a hole and place a twist in the line so the inside & outside share the same space and are allowed to ebb and flow, or sturm und drang, the acceptance of the sturm und drang will help to bring an ease or fulfillment to one’s life.
I chose the placement of the tattoo as a reminder, that when I see the inner sadness I have at times, that it is ok to sit with it, reflect upon it and then find a way to carry on, back into enjoyment. I went back to the Center for Courage & Renewal’s website and there were quotes to remind me that
“To move towards such wholeness we must become more self-aware and accepting of our gifts and strengths as well as our shadows and limits.”Parker Palmer and The Center for Courage and Renewal are two things I find myself going back to when I need to find some sort of center, force for cognizance, or truth (little t or big T truth). The sense of solitude and strength that comes from within is at time amazing to me. One of the beliefs that I cherish from Parker Palmer is the idea of the Circle of Trust. It is an entire approach for personal & professional renewal. Mainly what I love is this:
“Everyone has an inner teacher: Every person has access to an inner source of truth, named in various wisdom traditions as identity, true self, heart, spirit or soul. The inner teacher is a source of guidance and strength that helps us find our way through life’s complexities and challenges. Circles of Trust give people a chance to listen to this source, learn from it and discover its imperatives for their work and their lives.”
As I sit here typing I think about tomorrow. It is my longest training run and the beginning of week 6. My friend D, reminded me the other night that I still have 3 months of training ahead of me and that amazing things can happen in that time. Yet, I find my heart still wavering. My heart is wavering in what it wants right now in many ways.
What I do know is I keep finding amazing resources and amazing things to read. What I want now is just some silence to think about all these things. Silence, music, and good coffee.
Center for Courage & Renewal. (n.d.) Retrieved from http://www.couragerenewal.org/about/foundations