The BoF

Over the weekend I did something that I had always wanted to do. I was asked if I wanted to go on a little running road trip with my running friends and tackle The Bridge of Flowers (BoF) 10K, in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts. Now, I know what you are thinking "Hollie, The Boilermaker is a running road trip." That it is, but the Boilermaker started out as a running trip with friends I had before I started running. When I joined BeRunning, I saw these groups of adults making friends and doing stuff outside of BeRunning. I was super jealous.

When I was asked if I wanted to go, I said yes instantly. I actually think I stopped listening to the rest of the race description. As the weeks crept up towards the race, I would ask how some of the hills we were running compared to the giant hill. The word "worse" kept being repeated. Still, I pressed on thinking, really how bad could it be?

This is the elevation

I looked at the course elevation profile. I don't know why it didn't register with me. Perhaps those little stick figure men running at the top of the hill had me in disbelief.

It was an early morning as we headed out of Albany at 5:30am to get to Shelburne Falls by 7:30am for the race at 9am. It was a lot of normal pre race jitters that were going through my head. I made the comment several times that I thought I would be finishing in dead last place. Prior to getting our packets I was given the option to see the "hill". I am glad I said no, because if I saw it, I doubt my mind would have battled it and I would have given up too soon.

There is this thing that happens prior to races (of all distances) - hardcore runners do a little warm up run. I have never done a warm up run. Why? Because I am usually tired after .5 miles, so doing that before having to run 6.2 miles seemed counter intuitive. However, I was peer pressured into a little warm up run of the beginning of the race route, which has an incline. Hollie is not great at hills but I trucked along giving it a shot.

I'm on the right in the purple, camel back guy passed me later.

The race started and as usual the distance between the pack and myself lengthens very quickly. We ran up the incline and it "looped" around a neighborhood in town. It was at this point that camelback guy passed me and I could hear the faithful sounds of the diesel ambulance truck. I went up around the corner and the ambulance went straight. When I approached them on the loop, I waved and shouted "come on boys!"

The race volunteers were really great and very supportive. As we ran back through town to approach the hill, my name was shouted out from the announcer. I was last place and my name was still shouted out (it's the little things I love) The day was hot and very humid. My asthma was sure to flare up at some point, so my inhaler was in my little silver pouch.

I made it to the beginning of the Crittenden Hill. I haven't been able to effectively describe this to anyone. Even the video I took does not describe it. The amount of curse words that come out of my mouth when talking about the hill give you the gist. There were several points in the hill that I just kept pumping my arms with the notion that my feet would indeed follow. I used my inhaler several times. I doubted myself, several times. My calves were burning. Each level of the hill was followed by an even more abusive section. For fit and fast runners, it seems like I'm making up how hard this hill was. However, I challenge any fast runner to strap on the amount of weight needed to make them the same weight as me and try to run up that damn hill.

When I got to the top of the hill I was relieved. Until, I realized how much strength it would take for me to run down the angle of the hill. It didn't feel as steep as the incline but it was much steeper than the Boilermaker hill. It was also dirt/trail terrain, something I'm not used to. The police car was right behind me the entire hill with his silent siren on.I was glad I couldn't hear him but still aware that there was someone driving less than 3mph to make sure I finished the race.

I had to use my quads more in the last 3 miles of the race. My calves were so tired and heavy. My intervals were all way off base. We had to run on grass for part of the race (i don't like running on grass). There was one point of the race where I got to see Kim running towards me. It was after the hill, so I'm sure she was relieved to see I had made it through that.

Kim, Jenika, & Me

I kept saying, it's only 3 miles, a total of 6.2 miles, you ran 7 last weekend, why is this so hard? At this point, cars were let back on the race route. Some were nice and honked and shouted support, others flew by me very close to the orange cones. Race volunteers were applauding me and shouting out things like "I'm so glad you are running this race!" or "I wouldn't have even made it up the hill, I'm proud of you!" I kept checking my watch to see how many miles I had left. Somewhere around the last .5 mile I just stopped doing my intervals and I ran slowly.

I was coming back into town and I could see the Iron Bridge I ran over earlier. People who had finished the  race a long time ago and their race supporters just stopped and started clapping for me. This cause a surge of clapping to start at the finish line. I rounded the corner and there was the orange and the green! Jenika and Kim met me on the bridge and started to run me in. Then somewhere I found enough energy to pick it up to the finish line. The announcer fully shouting my name the entire time. It was like I was the first place finisher!

I crossed the finish at 1:45:10 - For me, that was an awesome time. My regular 10K time is around 1:35:00 so that damn hill only added 10 minutes.

We took a little time after the race and walked over the actual Bridge of Flowers. It's an old railroad bridge that the town decided to plant trees and flowers on. While we walked on the bridge people congratulated me by name. Like a miniature celebrity, I said thank you and smiled at them. Not going to lie, it was a really cool thing.

Actual view from the Bridge of Flowers

After the race, both Kim and Jenika were dedicated to running The Bridge of Flowers again next year. I could not make the commitment out loud yet. However, I fear it will be similar to The Boilermaker. How I sign up for it again but have no idea why and I curse at myself halfway through the race.

It was the toughest race I've ever run. For me it was tougher than the Boilermaker. Still, I finished it. The trip was worth it in so many ways.

Maybe I changed my tune

This past Sunday I ran my Fall Frun Run 10K race that I had been training for with the BeRunning group. While I went into running and training with a group open minded I found that I struggled with the process. Sometimes it was hard because of my speed, I ran with the same people week in and week out. I got to know them but I didn't get to know the whole group. (In actuality, it's a really interesting study in group dynamics because we never really went through Tuckman's theory of development.)

I'm an introvert, so until I know you and feel safe/comfortable around you I really don't show my personality. Which means, when we wait in a group at the beginning and end of runs, well I become an awkward 12 year old kid. So that also means I try to find the fastest route out of the awkward situation.

So I was going into Sunday's run with a shaky leg, the mentor I ran with the most was down in NYC supporting another BeRunner in the NYC Marathon, and everyone was faster than I was. Wicked faster than I was. I had the fear of coming in last inside my head.

Left and right we kept being asked if we were nervous. I responded each time, yes. I was nervous. Inside I knew that I didn't give it everything I could have in my training, that I had a few setbacks physically, that mentally I've been all over the place. I voiced my fear of coming in last and being slow to Jenika, a fellow participant. She assured me I'd be great and said she'd come back out to find me after she finished as long as I agreed to do the same for her if I finished before her. That made me smile. We both knew she'd finish first but she just kept trying to stay positive with me.

As a group we gathered and Fantastic George led us in a cheer to get us excited. It got us a lot of glances, which was neat because people were wondering who our group was. George said it would happen, but sometimes I let my skeptic win out.

I lined up with the other runners from our group and once again, taking the voice of Ed Tse in my head (and in my face!) "let's hang out to the side and let everyone else start". Then keeping the voice of Joel Tse in my head, I picked out a target for a "kill" (i know that doesn't sound nice but it's meant with love)

It didn't take very long for the entire group of runners to be way off in the distance to me. We hit a shady patch of the course running out to the road and i thought, maybe I didn't have enough layers on, or maybe next time bring your gloves. I use a GymBoss timer to give me my intervals. I was doing 7 minutes running & 1 minute walking. My legs were so heavy that the first mile made me feel like death. My left shin and ankle were tightening, I started to get worried. I was running and it was painful. I kept hearing Marey's voice telling me to relax from toe to crown, kept hearing Kerry tell me to slow down and keep my shoulders loose.

As I approached 1.5 miles I made my move. Purple hat & orange shirt had been in front of me. I knew that I was currently in last place. I knew that I needed to pick it up in order to get past them. I thought we might play "tag" like I did with the women in the Great Pumpkin but I passed them, chalked two kills internally and then went back to my leg.

I had passed the first mile clock around 13:50 which is pretty damn good for me. However, it also let me know I was running faster than my regular pace and that I had planed for a 15/16 min per mile pace. So I slowed it down and tried to relax while walking. When I got to the mile two clock Marey was manning the station. She asked how I was feeling, reminded me to relax and I kept on trucking.

Around mile 2.5 (i think) was our first hill. Now, I knew there would be a hill there. It wasn't super steep it was just longer than I expected. I ran a bit of it but then had to walk. Dorothea's voice was in my ear telling me not to be stubborn & prideful and just accept the walk uphill. The rolling hills after the big hill, well those sucked balls too, but I kept my arms pumping and kept looking back making sure I was putting some distance between me and purple hat.

When I saw the mile 4 clock, it felt good to know I was on track to sustain 1 hour 36 minutes as my 10K PR time. I did the math, I thought I'd make it and have a slight chance to even beat it. Mile 5 left me feeling cold, we were getting back in shady parts, there were more cars on the road, the runners who have finished the race in 40 minutes are now running the reverse race route doing their additional run workout (which makes you want to trip them, I'm not going to lie to you)

leave no BeRunner behind

I started the journey back onto Shenedahowa's campus, I had forgotten that we had to run across a field. Just as I was not feeling the field I heard "YOU GOT THIS HOLLIE!" over a megaphone. It was coming from Fantastic George. I ran closer and saw Marey. I saw Jenika's orange hat, Jessie & Latticia, I heard Ed's voice. They all came back to run me in. I was loosing my breath at that point. The cold air was wrecking my lungs, burning with each breath.  Ed told me he was a zombie chasing me, Letticia started singing the U.S. States song, they all just kept me going.

A runnin rhino all the way to the end

We got onto the track and started the last bit of the run. My brother ran up on the side and started running with us as a group. Letticia knew what my 10K goal was, she kept giving me updates. Ed told me to push until i didn't think i could push anymore and that I could pass out after the finish line. Next Letticia told me I had 30 seconds to get to the finish to make my goal.

I started sprinting. I honestly have no idea where the energy came from. It hurt, i'm not going to lie. My lungs burnt and I was ready to cry but no one was taking my goal away from me, myself included.

Both sides of the finish line

George P. Kansas and I

As I started to sprint I could hear the group running with me start shouting & cheering and I was running to an even bigger group waiting for me cheering and jumping. I crossed the finish line at 1:35:55 (with the Ed Tse voice inside telling me yeah I did even better cause of my NET time!) I crossed the finish line and went right into hugs, high fives, and photos. I set a new 10K PR (personal record) of 1:35:29




I finally got it. I finally understood group running. I had asked a lot of friends to come out to the race and see me finish. Honestly, who wants to wake up early to watch someone finish a race right at the end? My fellow group of BeRunning runners do. They wanted to support me and they wanted to see me succeed on my own level of success. Not once did any of them tell me I shouldn't run a 10K, or that I was too slow. They just kept telling me that I could.

So to answer the doubts that I had when I told myself that I paid money to have someone remind me to run, that's not what you paid for Hollie. You paid for an opportunity to be introduced to some amazing people who showed you that runners come in every shape, size and speed.

So maybe I changed my tune and you know what? I feel FANTASTIC GEORGE!

Please come support me

Dear Friends,
I know that several of you have been keeping track of my running season and have been supporting me online as I face my challenges. I have been working with a group called BeRunning and have been training for the past eight weeks with them in preparation to run my first official 10K (6.2 miles) We found out the race route the other day and I was kind of excited that we'd be finishing on the track at Shenendehowa High School. This means bleachers. This is a request to help fill those bleachers.

But Hollie, I don't want to get up early.
Here's the thing, it will take me about 1hr 30mins to run the race. So if you get to the bleachers by 10-10:15am you are pretty much guaranteed to see me cross the finish line.

But Hollie, what will I do while I wait for you to hit the finish line.
You, my friends are a creative bunch. My suggestion is to bring blankets & hot cider. I mean, if that cider is spiked with brandy I won't tell anyone. Just make sure you have a designated driver.

But Hollie, you run all the time. I'll catch another race. It's cold.
I get it, I understand. It's cold, it's early. Bundle up, I'll be running in shorts. But here's why I want you there. We all have things in our life that are challenges to us. When we overcome those challenges, we want our loved ones to be part of that experience. I can't tell you what it does for a runner when you hear your name being cheered out as your approach & cross the finish line. A mentor cheered for me this weekend when I crossed at The Great Pumpkin 5K. It made me smile & push faster the last 25/50 yards.

But Hollie, I don't even live near you anymore.
I'll take care of a place to stay if you really want to come up (or down) for it. If you're randomly up for the weekend, well this would be a little early morning adventure. Perhaps we'll all go get some pancakes after.

But Hollie, I run all the time too and I want to run it with you.
O.K., all the race information is below.
SO my friends, please just promise me you'll think about coming and sitting in the bleachers to cheer me on. I know we all have busy lives and it seems really silly to have people come out early in the morning just to watch people run past you. But you can't blame a girl for trying.
-Hollie

AREEP'S INAUGURAL FALL FRUN 10K PRESENTED BY THE ALBANY RUNNING EXCHANGE
To Benefit the Albany Medical Center Children's Hospital
Sunday, November 6, 2011 - 9am at Shenendehowa High School, Clifton Park, NY
The newest road race to hit the Capital District will be a mega-experience that you will one day gladly say you were there for the first! The course barely has 5 turns and features an epic finish on the Shen HS track! We'll be pulling out all the stops with technological fun, so come on down and see what we've been up to back in the lab! There will also be ample refreshments for you along with a live band and a true party atmosphere!

Here's the event website: http://fallfrun10.com/

heatwraps & snacks

Right now I've got a Thermacare heat wrap on my shin. It's just starting it's warming feature. It's cause I am attempting heat. Last night after my group run I iced my whole shin. It's annoying because I am in a good amount of pain after I run. However, when I run it doesn't hurt until I slow down or walk. Also, my foot has gone numb in the past two runs and my ankle seizes and makes my foot slap into the pavement.

Did I mention that the bruise/bump that I had concerns about way back when I started running last year has increased by two inches?

So let's review. Raised bump & bruise on mid shin. Pins & Needles that run from my big toe to the bottom of my butt. Throbbing on the top of the foot near a raised vein. Throbbing in shin coincides with throbbing on shin. All of this is occurring only on one leg. My left leg. Running about 1.4 miles is what agitates it. 30 minutes later the pain goes away. There is a dead leg throb that remains but it is nothing like the pain while running.

My podiatrist adjusted my insert to stop the front of my foot from pronating. Then he referred me to a vascular specialist. He wants to rule out a vein & circulation issue before moving on to testing for compartment syndrome. Both items have their scary aspects.

Vascular - it could be Deep Vein Thrombosis which my vein could clog and the blood clot could go to my lungs or brain and I die. Yes, it's dramatic and the worst case scenario. Best case is it is just the vein and I have surgery to burn & kill the vein and reroute to other veins. It might help the pins & needles and it might even help my headaches. Still, there is surgery involved. Well surgery & blood thinners, which will make me kiss alcohol goodbye.

Compartment Syndrome - muscles have these sheaths around them that expand & contract along with the muscle. Sometimes when you become very muscular the sheath does not stretch with the muscle, instead it contracts on the muscle and can pinch off veins & nerves. The pain is often misdiagnosed as shin splints. Shin splint pain stays for two to three weeks and does not get better when you stop the activity. For compartment syndrome they stick your muscle with a  pressure measurement tool, patch you up with a sterile dressing, and then ask you to perform the activity that irritates the muscle. Then they measure you 1 minute after stopping and 5 minutes after stopping. If the pressure is abnormal, then they perform surgery. What do they do? Oh, they cut the sheath that surrounds your muscle and if needed place a skin graph on your leg.

Still, my podiatrist is letting me run. Telling me, if it hurts than stop. I went out too fast with a different mentor the other night and I think that kicked my leg a bit too much. Today at work it's been dead & throbbing. Hence the heat wrap. And while I know yoga would be a good thing to help stretch it...i'm just not motivated today.

The health things that have been kicking my ass the past 3 weeks and the fact I've put on 13 pounds...well it sucks the life out of me. Honestly, I think I prefer running on my own. I prefer music. I prefer changing my schedule around. I prefer it to be a want to not a have to.

I'm running the Great Pumpkin 5K this weekend. Last year it was (technically) the first 5K I ever ran. So it's the first race that I know the whole route to already. After that, Nov 6th is my 10K. My last race of the season will be the Troy Turkey Trot (if my friend tells me she registered). In my head I know I ran the boilermaker off of 7 weeks of training and had to rest the two weeks prior to the race. I know I can do the distance, I just want it to be fun again. I want to end my season on some high notes.

half way & half assed

Last week in my running group we had a 5 week in timed 5K again. How did I do? 50 minutes. that's right, i put 3 additional minutes onto my time.

we all have bad runs. bad races. it just majorly sucked that I did so poorly. What were my factors in "failure".
Well, I've half assed my training program. I just got into a yoga class 2 weeks ago. I rarely get my cross training in and my long runs on the weekend have been non-existent because of a lot of excuses.

It is hard to think about this group training, if I like it or not. The people are awesome but they are a lot faster than me. I mean, a lot faster. I know, I know...it's OK to be a turtle. (you bet your sweet bippy ass it is!) it just does something to your motivation when week after week a group of people are waiting for you to finish.

During the timed 5K, I ran the first 14 minutes. No walking. Which really, that is what killed me. My leg tightened up, my hip ached, my head was pounding. So one of the mentors I ran with started timing 7 minutes running, 1 minute walking for me. She talked to me the entire time, which made the long time fly by, but it kept me from focusing on the rhythm of my breath, foot fall, and mental game I play.

I crossed the finish line and felt OK. proud that i completed it. but when i heard my time. that is when i wanted to get away from the group. I was angry at myself. Yes, there were things occurring that I couldn't change. Still, I was angry & disappointed. Another participant reminded me that it was OK and that we all have bad runs.

That night after the group run was one of the worst nights. So what's my big "excuse" - my IIH is acting up again. Stress does a number to the body. It's why my doctors want me to exercise, want me to loose weight. Stress, my body weight, and chemistry cause something very frustrating to happen in my brain. It sends messages to my brain to swell. That swelling causes an extreme amount of pressure & pain in my eyes and head. At best I am always working with a headache that never goes away. At worst, the throbbing is deafening and the sudden sharp pains that flash cause me to loose a bit of my cognitive skills. 

The night of the run I had been having what I call "lightening bolt" pain for the past week. I had missed a few days of work. I needed dark lighting and cool spaces. I wasn't sure how the blood pumping activity of running was going to affect my already blood pumping pressure. I had told our leader George, told him where my emergency information was, and I started the run. With that mentor that I was running with, we talked a lot. She commented on how I've lived a lot of life. I said that I had to. That's all it took for me. I started thinking about dying. I know it's a hard thing to read here but I started to think about it, get scared, and started hyperventilating.

I still want to beat my original 10K time of 10K in 1:38:28 - hell i don't care if i only beat it by one minute.
I still say I'm "Iron Eagle" and often just want to shout out CHAPPY. I run better with music. it lets me run for fun. it lets me run for me and it doesn't make me feel guilty.

I'm running a 5K this Saturday. this one is for me. this one is headphones on. this one is to prove that i can be better. 

tonight is the "first day of classes"

I am slowly getting ready for tonight. I am nervous.

I am slow. I am currently run down. I struggle with the notion of me being a runner.

I haven't put on any of my running gear (besides my shoes) for 6 weeks. So I feel like I am starting at the beginning again. I know I will have to start and stop a lot. Which makes me feel like "they're all going to laugh at me."

I know they are adults and they won't laugh but i wonder if they will question my actual ability to do the program.

Hollie it's a 10K training program. You ran a 15K. You survived it.

still, these are my worries.

I also downloaded the week schedule. Really, for the next two weeks all I have time for is the Wednesday night group work. But there is some cross training, some strength, some longer runs, and some yoga in there.

I'll feel better when Frankenstein:A New Musical is done because I'll have more time.

Last year, this is when I started training for the Turkey Trot 5K.

Since then, my life has been different.