Calculation

There are still days when I lace up my shoes and think that I am absolutely crazy. That I'm running a 15K (9.3miles) in maybe a month or so. That I'm running a half marathon (13.1 miles) in about 5 months. When I get up early in the morning on Saturday's, I think - what in the hell is wrong with you Hollie.

I signed up for a second running group as I wasn't getting my Saturday long runs in. So this way I am accountable and I get to make more running friends. Because let's face it, only other runners will look at you with mild crazy eye when you suggest that you "hang out" by going for a run and then maybe a beer or breakfast afterwards.

The past two Saturday's I've gotten my mileage in, which is great. I've also had good conversation, which makes the early hours also worth it. So I know it's important to get my weekday runs in, so that Saturday run doesn't feel like it's hell. Now that I have a summer show and more evening events are piling up, I might have to switch to running in the mornings.

I ran this morning and found myself running so slow. I felt bad during my run about it but I know that it's ok. it's part of the training. When I looked at one of the tools that was in my new group's blog I figured I'd try it out.

Looking at this calculator, I've been running a bit faster than I should be running during all of my runs. So I'm ok with the 16 minute pace (while running not walking) I had today, compared to the 13:30min pace I've been working at.

This tells me I can complete the boilermaker in 2:26:28. Last year I did it in 2:34:46 - that's shaving 8 minutes off. That seems like a lot but I'm going to make it my goal time, with the ultimate goal being just finishing. This also tells me I can finish a half marathon in 3:30. Running for over three hours seems insane, still last year i thought running over two hours was insane.

So I'm trusting in the schedule. I'm trusting in my body breaking down and rebuilding.I'm trusting that I can be a bit slower if I need to be on my recovery runs.

the one gallon challenge

One Full Gallon

The other week I ran outside when it was technically advised by the red cross for individuals to not do any strenuous activities. It was hot. I kept thinking about how at last years Boilermaker they kept calling it the brrr-limaker because it was the coldest start they've every had. I was putting ice in my hat & sports bra during that race. So I knew that I would have to tackle the monster that is running in the heat. That heat, much like rain or cold in the fall runs couldn't be an excuse for me.

I set out for my 5K loop in the Saratoga State Park. I felt good but knew I was slow. This is common, for you to run at least a minute slower of a pace when it is hot out. But towards the end, even the 17 minute pace seemed impossible. So I walked the last .25

About half way through the run I started thinking about water. About how I should have drank more within the day. About where I was going to get some after running. I remembered my empire state bottle in the trunk! So I drove over to the spring fountain in the park and then while searching through my bag I also found a Gatorade packet.

Usually, I just drink water after a run. However this day, my fingers were once again swollen like sausages. So I felt like watered down Gatorade couldn't hurt. It was then that I realized my sometimes fully consumed half gallon of water was not enough. In comes the one gallon challenge. I need to drink a full gallon of water a day, especially on days that I plan on running (Monday, Thursday, and Saturday's)

It might not sound like a lot to some, to others it sounds crazy. It's 8 pint glasses worth of water. There's that old adage. I needed to break it down into AM and PM. If I have it on my desk then I know I have to drink it. So I've got the AM & PM half gallons. It's 11am and I'm down 3 pints. The most frustrating part is having to get up and mosey past the same offices a billion times a day to go use the restroom.

So why do all of this crazy stuff? I want to do this. I want to get a better time at the Boilermaker. I want to finish the Hudson Half Marathon. I want to know that a fat kid (be it inner or outer) can run a marathon. I woke up from a dream the other morning. One where I was laying down in all my race gear for a nap next to a woman I adore after just finishing a marathon. I dreamt that I ran a marathon. That I finished a marathon.

It's always been a dream that I could run a marathon by the time I'm 35 (I'm 33 now) but before when I said it, it didn't seem real or possible. It was something I thought i would just end up giving up on because it was too hard. Now, it seems kind of reasonable. Scary as all hell but reasonable.

But I know I have to change how I do things. I have to be more committed. I have to pay attention to hydration, nutrition, and strength training. Not hard core but more committed.

Well the 4th pint of AM has been poured and I've got 45 minutes before PM starts. Sometimes I just shake my head and think "Hollie, you are crazy" but then it makes me smile. So I know I am doing something right.

The Ploughman's

The Ploughman's Lunch

After my run the other night I was lazy. I knew that I wanted something but i wasn't sure what. It turned out, I craved The Ploughman. I bought a melon, apple, I had gruyere, got some deli "meat ends", and a french baguette. When I got it and cut it all up in my appropriate portion sizes, it took up two plates. Which was awesome.

[my plates are 1950's plates which are much smaller than plates of today]

Since I had it all cut up and ready, I brought it in for lunch the next day too. It's funny, the shift in eating that I've had from now to back in 2009. When reminded by Courtney & Tracy to add in my fruits & veggies, I actually did it. I need to get experimental with my fruits & veggies though. I really want to learn more about greens, kale, etc.

I also found a little article about baking "hard-boiled" eggs in the oven and i've got a full dozen to bake up this weekend. My lunch box is a make shift bento box and while i've not gotten adventurous in the "design" of the food like a traditional bento, I have gotten adventurous in all the stuff I put in it. New fruits, new cheeses, new meats. I've got a long way to go but the single living lady in me is thankful for The Ploughman.

Awkward shower

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday's are my group running days. It's the second week of group running and my schedule has already suggested a change. I was invited to a wine tasting a few weeks back, so I had already said yes. I knew that I couldn't use it as an excuse to not run, so I knew I would have to run before work or at my lunch break.

I planed it out as follows. Pack bag the evening prior. Lay out running clothes. Set alarm for 5:20am. Drive up to the park, stretch, and begin run by 6:30am. I meant to go for the full 3.2 miles but then i hit the wrong thing on my phone and it ended my run, so I just walked back to the car & stretched.

I enjoyed the morning because it was dark when I started out and with each morning running I passed we did the "motorcyclist wave" and said a small hello. I was running at a good pace, I could hear the tempo of my breathing, foot falls, music, and my arm motion all just working nicely together. While, I wanted to run further its probably better that I just stayed on the average of 2.4 miles for right now. Saturday I can push 3 miles and make 3 miles the norm.

I work in Saratoga, so running in the park is a great option. It's actually where I run Monday nights. I know the loops, know roughly the mileage. Know what part of the park I'm scared of (damn hills). So I knew that i could run relatively early in the park even if it was dark out. If I lived near work, or ran near where I lived I wouldn't have obsessively freaked out about how to get clean & pretty after an early run.

Work has a shower.
It's odd. 
An accessible shower on the first floor.

I've used it on a weekend once after running a race in Saratoga. However, I didn't have to think about people coming into work seeing me rock the brightest of athletic gear. This morning, was different. People were in the building and more would be arriving soon.

I made it to the office around 7:20am and took the awkward work shower. It's awkward for several reasons. The largest reason is there is a shower rod but no curtain.You have to check to make sure the two door locks are locked. Not many people use the shower option at work, normally it's the single stall bathroom that the first floor people use to get away from the group stall bathroom. So since there is no curtain, the water goes everywhere. One must place their bag of clothes far away from the actual shower so they don't get wet.

Since it is also an accessible shower you have to make the choice of bench down or bench up. Both have it's pros and cons.  I go for bench up (space), but it leaves me to some creative endeavors on how to place hair products and soap places. It's also a little awkward because it's not a normal evening after work for me. So trying to look nice on minimal product, appliances, and what wardrobe can fit in a bag is not a skill that I've mastered yet. I'm sure this will occur several more times over the season and eventually I will get a curtain for that damned rod. I packed up all my stuff, double checked that I didn't forget anything and did the quick walk out of the room.

The only odd glance was when walking back out to my car to place my towel and bag in the trunk. The look was "ummn why are you carrying a towel?" My nerdiest answer would be quipping back about the Hitchhikers Guide. In reality, I just shuffled out to the car, put everything in,  walked across the parking lot for my egg sandwich and then it was just another day at the office.

A new season starts

A new season of running starts. With it comes new dilemmas. I now know what it is like to run The Boilermaker. I now know what it is like to injure yourself. I now know that foam rolling & stretching isn't a joke. I now know I can do it, so with that knowledge comes procrastination.

I signed up for a second season with BeRunning and while the beginning months of my membership were ones where it was too cold for my asthma, or my leg hurt too much, or the flu took me out. Going to last nights group session was still scary. We have a little community on Facebook and I try to post when I am running there so I can be more accountable, so I have others who will lovingly yell at me if I don't make it to a run.

I knew I needed to start training in March to make The Boilermaker a possibility. I pulled into the parking lot and saw my mentor out putting flags up to mark the trail we were using that evening. Then Ed pulled in and we started talking about running, about how we all took off more time than we wanted in between running. About what type of interval to start running at. For my last race in December I was running 2 minutes and walking 45 seconds. I didn't know if it would be too much or not. Ed, then sprang it on me. Why don't you run the Hudson Half after The Boilermaker. He and Kate are training for it. I think Joel & Mark are running it. Lots of area running friends are running it. I might be able to run it in 3.30 or 4 hours but after training the spring, summer & fall, I might be able to run it in the 3.30 zone. So my interest is peaked but I have to make the decision soon & register if I want to. Curse you Ed, for getting grand ideas in my head.

We started up, did our introductions and our stretches. It was a speed workout. Not the best for me to be picking my running back up again but I needed the group mentality to make a start of it all. As I started out with Kerry, I remembered everything I learned last season. Loosen my shoulders, good posture, exaggerated baby steps. We were basically walking one flag and running two. (other runners do a run faster than average pace, then during their recovery [where i walk] they just run at their regular pace)

Like usual, I started out faster than we needed to be. We decided on a 14 min pace for the speed work. Kerry has a gps watch that i am jealous of because it lets us know our pace. When she had to break off from me to talk to a fellow participant, I was on my own for trying to figure out my pace. Usually it's the rhythm of my breathing matched with my foot strike. However, I was going a bit too fast. I made it around the trail 3 times in 43 minutes, which is good for me.[note to self: get one of those fancy watches] It felt OK running. Felt like it was semi normal. I'll run this week on Friday instead of Saturday because St. Patrick's Day has me everywhere.

Today I'm reaping the benefits of running. A co-worker said to me, you're awfully smiley today. I replied back, yeah that I ran last night, that my season was starting. That it's one month of living on my own, that I'm taking care & protecting myself from things and people that hurt me, and that I'm running. It's a lot of things to be smiley about.

It's nice to have a bit of pep in my step.

a full year

when i started writing this blog out, about my process of running. the pitfals & triumphs. I didn't expect to accomplish the things that I did. I ran multiple 5K's, one 10K, and one 15K race. My nike+ said I ran over 98 miles this season. I know it's more than that because of how many times I did not use my nike+ system.

it is crazy to me. along the way, the crazier fact was that so many people I knew started up running. in my last race I saw someone I used to date, someone who when we dated she thought i was crazy for my running & my food plan. She was faster than I was at my last run in December. While the competitive jerk in me pushed myself to try and beat her across the finish line, somewhere in my heart I let go of my anger. I am actually proud of her and her journey.

I've been letting go a lot recently. trying to find my way to a spot where i feel really good, really healthy. I've got a long way to go but i know I can put in the time.

I'll rest until mid January, then I'll start a treadmill walking program to build distance on my legs at a slow pace. This will go until April, and then I will start training for a half marathon. I'll run the Boilermaker again and try to beat my time. I'll run the Stockadeathon or the Hudson Half. I will run the Walt Disney World Half Marathon in January 2013 and the Disneyland Half in September of 2013. I will get my Coast to Coast medal. I will put in my strength training time and I will take the stretching class at Back In Balance.

I know that I can do all of these things, I just have to weave them into my life. I'm looking forward to BeRunning again because this time the goal race is one of your choosing. So my friends who want to run a 5K,10K, or attempt the Boilermaker with me, well i'm coming at you with information.

Emotionally, this year has been an awakening. I've been hurting since 2009 and I haven't dealt with any of it. Maybe bits and pieces but certainly not the big things. Cute girls just keep stepping in my path. I can't say that I will be rid of all that ailed me. I'm still trying to figure out the issues with my leg and back. still trying to settle with what I need here in the capital district. still trying to define my own version of self care and promising to be a little nicer to myself as the year begins.

it's funny that it's only been one year. 2008-2009 was personal trainers, 50lbs lost, and a car accident. 2010-Now was running, singing, and smiling. 2012, now that will be a great adventure.

Maybe I changed my tune

This past Sunday I ran my Fall Frun Run 10K race that I had been training for with the BeRunning group. While I went into running and training with a group open minded I found that I struggled with the process. Sometimes it was hard because of my speed, I ran with the same people week in and week out. I got to know them but I didn't get to know the whole group. (In actuality, it's a really interesting study in group dynamics because we never really went through Tuckman's theory of development.)

I'm an introvert, so until I know you and feel safe/comfortable around you I really don't show my personality. Which means, when we wait in a group at the beginning and end of runs, well I become an awkward 12 year old kid. So that also means I try to find the fastest route out of the awkward situation.

So I was going into Sunday's run with a shaky leg, the mentor I ran with the most was down in NYC supporting another BeRunner in the NYC Marathon, and everyone was faster than I was. Wicked faster than I was. I had the fear of coming in last inside my head.

Left and right we kept being asked if we were nervous. I responded each time, yes. I was nervous. Inside I knew that I didn't give it everything I could have in my training, that I had a few setbacks physically, that mentally I've been all over the place. I voiced my fear of coming in last and being slow to Jenika, a fellow participant. She assured me I'd be great and said she'd come back out to find me after she finished as long as I agreed to do the same for her if I finished before her. That made me smile. We both knew she'd finish first but she just kept trying to stay positive with me.

As a group we gathered and Fantastic George led us in a cheer to get us excited. It got us a lot of glances, which was neat because people were wondering who our group was. George said it would happen, but sometimes I let my skeptic win out.

I lined up with the other runners from our group and once again, taking the voice of Ed Tse in my head (and in my face!) "let's hang out to the side and let everyone else start". Then keeping the voice of Joel Tse in my head, I picked out a target for a "kill" (i know that doesn't sound nice but it's meant with love)

It didn't take very long for the entire group of runners to be way off in the distance to me. We hit a shady patch of the course running out to the road and i thought, maybe I didn't have enough layers on, or maybe next time bring your gloves. I use a GymBoss timer to give me my intervals. I was doing 7 minutes running & 1 minute walking. My legs were so heavy that the first mile made me feel like death. My left shin and ankle were tightening, I started to get worried. I was running and it was painful. I kept hearing Marey's voice telling me to relax from toe to crown, kept hearing Kerry tell me to slow down and keep my shoulders loose.

As I approached 1.5 miles I made my move. Purple hat & orange shirt had been in front of me. I knew that I was currently in last place. I knew that I needed to pick it up in order to get past them. I thought we might play "tag" like I did with the women in the Great Pumpkin but I passed them, chalked two kills internally and then went back to my leg.

I had passed the first mile clock around 13:50 which is pretty damn good for me. However, it also let me know I was running faster than my regular pace and that I had planed for a 15/16 min per mile pace. So I slowed it down and tried to relax while walking. When I got to the mile two clock Marey was manning the station. She asked how I was feeling, reminded me to relax and I kept on trucking.

Around mile 2.5 (i think) was our first hill. Now, I knew there would be a hill there. It wasn't super steep it was just longer than I expected. I ran a bit of it but then had to walk. Dorothea's voice was in my ear telling me not to be stubborn & prideful and just accept the walk uphill. The rolling hills after the big hill, well those sucked balls too, but I kept my arms pumping and kept looking back making sure I was putting some distance between me and purple hat.

When I saw the mile 4 clock, it felt good to know I was on track to sustain 1 hour 36 minutes as my 10K PR time. I did the math, I thought I'd make it and have a slight chance to even beat it. Mile 5 left me feeling cold, we were getting back in shady parts, there were more cars on the road, the runners who have finished the race in 40 minutes are now running the reverse race route doing their additional run workout (which makes you want to trip them, I'm not going to lie to you)

leave no BeRunner behind

I started the journey back onto Shenedahowa's campus, I had forgotten that we had to run across a field. Just as I was not feeling the field I heard "YOU GOT THIS HOLLIE!" over a megaphone. It was coming from Fantastic George. I ran closer and saw Marey. I saw Jenika's orange hat, Jessie & Latticia, I heard Ed's voice. They all came back to run me in. I was loosing my breath at that point. The cold air was wrecking my lungs, burning with each breath.  Ed told me he was a zombie chasing me, Letticia started singing the U.S. States song, they all just kept me going.

A runnin rhino all the way to the end

We got onto the track and started the last bit of the run. My brother ran up on the side and started running with us as a group. Letticia knew what my 10K goal was, she kept giving me updates. Ed told me to push until i didn't think i could push anymore and that I could pass out after the finish line. Next Letticia told me I had 30 seconds to get to the finish to make my goal.

I started sprinting. I honestly have no idea where the energy came from. It hurt, i'm not going to lie. My lungs burnt and I was ready to cry but no one was taking my goal away from me, myself included.

Both sides of the finish line

George P. Kansas and I

As I started to sprint I could hear the group running with me start shouting & cheering and I was running to an even bigger group waiting for me cheering and jumping. I crossed the finish line at 1:35:55 (with the Ed Tse voice inside telling me yeah I did even better cause of my NET time!) I crossed the finish line and went right into hugs, high fives, and photos. I set a new 10K PR (personal record) of 1:35:29




I finally got it. I finally understood group running. I had asked a lot of friends to come out to the race and see me finish. Honestly, who wants to wake up early to watch someone finish a race right at the end? My fellow group of BeRunning runners do. They wanted to support me and they wanted to see me succeed on my own level of success. Not once did any of them tell me I shouldn't run a 10K, or that I was too slow. They just kept telling me that I could.

So to answer the doubts that I had when I told myself that I paid money to have someone remind me to run, that's not what you paid for Hollie. You paid for an opportunity to be introduced to some amazing people who showed you that runners come in every shape, size and speed.

So maybe I changed my tune and you know what? I feel FANTASTIC GEORGE!