For no one else

This morning I met the usual group of Saturday morning runners at the Crossings. A large amount of full marathoner's are running the Boilermaker. I am able to jump into the conversation because I survived the race once and I fully intend to mentally race it this year.

The anticipation is the worst. You plan for the race, you don't plan for anything else. So when you start thinking about not finishing, what time you have to get up, what you'll wear, what you'll eat....well it tends to become overwhelming.

After getting home and taking a shower, the question crept in. What will others think, if I fail? Secondly, what will I think if I fail? I posted an entire post about it last year and while I type, it is on my mind now.

There have been people I've wanted to talk to this week (while I was avoiding the world and focused on this weekend) However, I don't know what to say. I just wanted to scare away that feeling of being alone. I haven't had any of those conversations and I still struggle with the idea of making some phone calls this afternoon. I am just going to give in to the experience. This weekend is one for stories to be made.

I am running this race for no one else. I will finish this race for no one else. I will accept the joy & congratulation when I finish, no one else can take that away.