tonight is the "first day of classes"

I am slowly getting ready for tonight. I am nervous.

I am slow. I am currently run down. I struggle with the notion of me being a runner.

I haven't put on any of my running gear (besides my shoes) for 6 weeks. So I feel like I am starting at the beginning again. I know I will have to start and stop a lot. Which makes me feel like "they're all going to laugh at me."

I know they are adults and they won't laugh but i wonder if they will question my actual ability to do the program.

Hollie it's a 10K training program. You ran a 15K. You survived it.

still, these are my worries.

I also downloaded the week schedule. Really, for the next two weeks all I have time for is the Wednesday night group work. But there is some cross training, some strength, some longer runs, and some yoga in there.

I'll feel better when Frankenstein:A New Musical is done because I'll have more time.

Last year, this is when I started training for the Turkey Trot 5K.

Since then, my life has been different.

Taking the next step

Those who know me in real life, know that i've been working on my fitness since September 2009. I trained with personal trainers, lost about 50 pounds and felt strong. I was sidetracked by personal injury and found my way to wanting to run by seeing my former students run in costumes during a Ragnar race. I found the Warrior Dash and showed it to my brother but I couldn't do it last year because of my shoulder. It was after seeing him run that race with an all uphill first mile, that I knew if I wanted to do it the next year i'd have to run a 5K. My friend Mary Beth heard how I was walking and that I did a 5K distance in about an hour. So she encouraged me to sign up for a race and to use the couch to 5K program. I trained on my own three days a week.

After running my initial 5K, I knew I wanted to keep going and run more 5K's the next season. I also had a great friend convince me to run a 15K. Yep, I'm a crazy bastard who went from 6 5K's to running a 15K, and not just any 15K but The Boilermaker.

Again, I trained on my own three days a week.

But now, I'm taking a big step. I joined a 10K training group. The distance is not an intimidating factor for me. I mean, I ran a 15K. During that race at the 10K marker I said "it's just one more 5K". The intimidating factor is....being social while I run. Being social, not listening to music, and facing my own innate need to compete when there is no competition. It's also being social with new people but Kathleen told me I can no longer use that as a crutch because I do musical theater and I know how to make friends.

So I did it. I took the plunge. I signed up for Be Running 10K program  It's a ten week program where we'll meet once a week on Wednesday nights in Colonie and I'll be assigned a mentor to walk me through all the training. The same group ran a C25K program for Fleet Feet, so they're good with the run/walk programs. I'll still have time to run on my own for long runs. It's just a little crazy to me. I started running last year around this time. I now have 5 5K's under my belt and one 15K.

Now, I'm taking a big girl step. I won't be alone. Which is freaky.

Singing & dancing replaced running & resting

So I haven’t’ written in a while. There is reason for this. Mostly it is because of my schedule with the show I am in. I’m in The WeddingSinger the musical – performing at Russell Sage College’s The Schacht Fine Arts Center in Troy, NY August5-7 and 11-14, 2011 Thurs-Sat. 8pm, Sun. 2pm

I’ve joked around with a fellow office runner that dancing in the show is my cross training. While I joke, it actually feels like it is. The past few weeks have been dance rehearsals for three hours a night in crazy humid situations. Yesterday was our first technical rehearsal, full wigs & costumes. It was a ten hour day. So I’m a little beat up today.

In actual running news, I’m checking out a 10K runners group. Ed, who has been at my two prideful running moments, sent me an email about Be Running.  Wednesday, August 3 · 7:00pm - 8:30pm at the Ciccotti Center - Colonie NY

I’m going to go check it out because really, I think I’m at the point of if I want to get better at running that I need some coaching and I need to learn how to run with a group. I’ve got a few 5K’s lined up for the rest of the summer and into September & October. So training for a 10K until October will be great, then I’ll feel a little better about training from October – January for a half marathon. 

I want to be back into running mode. I do. Still, I know I have to start from the beginning again because I now have the inserts. I know I also have to get back into good nutrition mode. That will come from not being busy every night of the week. I know that the summer has been hard for me to run in. That I prefer fall weather, which means running a month or so in the summer with my training going through August-December for a running season with major goal races. Then I can do a few fun runs during the summer and even think about taking on The Boilermaker again. 

Body image has also been what is killing me right now. Being sucked into spanks like materials under my costumes, while helpful, makes me feel unattractive when I am doing my costume changes. Seeing pictures of me where I am happy and jovial but am just not wearing the most flattering thing just makes me feel different. I know we all have different body image issues. I know I am not alone. I know women who I think are sexy and a healthy body size have their own thoughts and struggles too. It’s just that once upon a time I made a commitment to attack that and though I lost 50lbs, I’m at a plateau. So I have to fight harder to get through that plateau. I really want to go back to Fitness Together. I love the guys there; I love the work out set up. I just can’t afford it right now. My goal though with the 10K training group, is that I can afford once a week at FT and they would be my cross training.  They always helped me through my anger too, pushing me really hard and getting me to lift more than I thought I could. I want to get back to my 50 non-modified pushups in a minute too. That’s where I was before my accident and that’s where I want to get back to. 

So I’m tired. There is no way around that. I will be tired until August 15^th when the show is completely over. I’m thinking of trying a 5K on August 20^th, but I would have to leave right after to go down to the city for a wedding. I’m still debating the logistics.