When I was a kid growing up, the SNICK show Roundhouse was like a
dream come true for a budding improv actress & singer to watch. It
was like all the stuff I wanted to do. I sang the theme song as my
warmup (still do to this day, as superstition subscribes). There was
this one song from the episode SPORTS that always stuck with me. This year, the song has echoed many moments for me.
They call me foolish one, for dreaming all the time. Races I will never run. But I wish (I wish) I could tell them how, my dreaming makes me feel. It may be true. I can't win now. They say I never will but I can dream, and when I dream I run. If I know that I can do it, it's as good as done and I know (I know), things are never hopeless as they seem, but it won't worry me, as long as i can dream. Hey look I'm running now. I'm really getting fast, I'm moving like the wind. I'm going to run my race, at last. I know that I can win. Cause I can dream and when I dream I run. If I know that I can do it it's as good as done, and I know (I know) that things are never hopeless as they seem, but it won't worry me, as long as I can dream.  | |
| 2011-2012 mileage totals. |
How do I feel about that?
It leaves me proud but unsure.
That is what the thought of me running over
338.1 miles this running season has done to me. I often start my season in
March and run all the way though December. This year I am questioning when I
should pick up my training again. I say that perhaps I’ll pick it up after my
birthday in January. I mean I’ve run outside in the snow before, as March is
usually still snow covered grass months.
I also think about snowshoeing, especially since the Saratoga state park
lets you rent snowshoes and there are trails in the park that I love, and many
new ones that open up due to the blankets of snow.
However, my lacklustre attitude is stemming
from the fact that I’ve been sick since almost thanksgiving. I’ve been on
antibiotics since the beginning of December and I’ve been fighting a sinus and
kidney infection. Most of my energy had been previously provided by sugar and caffeine.
Two things that I was starting to get worried about my massive amounts of
consumption.
See, I had planned for a break, that from
October to December, I would just run for fun and just have that and Laramie
Project rehearsals. However, an opportunity presented itself. To stage manage
and have it be a paid position. When I had said yes, only the show dates had
been given to me, I thought I’d just be calling a show in order to give my
friend a break, I didn’t know it was the whole things start to finish, so at
the time, it fit into my schedule and gave
me a bit of time to rest still. That was until I asked about rehearsals and
found out that my rest time was no longer there.
There were some days I was waking up early
to run, going into work from 9-5, and then driving right to rehearsal at 6pm,
from Sunday to Thursday. Then having my schedule shift from Thursday’s – Sunday’s
for the show…While it worked for the actors and the directors, it didn’t really
work for me, so I was swept up into a rigorous schedule maybe three weeks after
my half marathon. The show, theatre, and actors were a great experience and I
enjoyed my time there. It’s just that my body did not enjoy the time.
I lived off caffeine and faster food
options. Sundays & Tuesdays, I
rehearsed for Laramie. It left me with the occasional Friday or Wednesday open.
While I wanted to sleep, I kept having to cancel social engagements left and
right with people. So I started feeling the need to schedule in relationships.
Everything was pre-planned, arranged, and blocked out for weeks, everything
except rest.
I thought I was getting better through my
first round of antibiotics but Christmas Day came and so did a second round of
sickness. I called in and took the rest of the week of using y vacation time. I
tried for two days to be a trooper and then I called my parents to come and get
me and take care of me. I couldn’t make decisions, couldn’t cook for myself,
and couldn’t travel further than 100 feet.
So I know I’ve got to take a break. I’ve
got to be OK with not running right now. I’ve got to be OK without knowing what
races I want to run this next year. There are many staples to my race season
and I am not sure if I’ll get to run them this coming year. So I’ve got to find
new things, new races, new ways and places to run.
I’ve got miniature goals I am dreaming
about, being able to fully run (not run/walk) a 10K, running the BoF again,
finding a half marathon to run, seeing if I can run a 10K in 80 minutes, I’d
like to do the trail running series with ARE. I like keeping track of how many people around me start to get into
running and August 2013, which is if I stay on track with just my food
journaling, is the projected month for me to hit my big goal of weight loss.
So I’ve got some goals, I just can’t really
think about all of them. I need to just rest.
And if you know me, that is my biggest challenge.
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