It is always my great downfall. I can control my food addictions, control my alcohol issues, I've kicked the smoking habit, recreational relaxants are far and few in between. Yet coffee & soda are my kryptonite.
I have one to two 8oz cups of coffee in the morning currently, and then I might have a tea around 3pm at work. We've forgone soda at the house for dinner time so I'm drinking water, tea, juice, the champagne of beers, or something that does not have caffeine in it.
Well, the other day I went crazy. I was having dinner with friends and my one friend owns a store where there is soda. She told me to take two if I wanted. I was like a kid in a candy store. (the fact was that I was an adult in an actual candy store but soda was more appealing than sugar) So diet coke & diet dr. pepper came along for the evening.
It was a binge moment. Carrying the Dr. Pepper it was my life-line. Telling me, exhaustion is no option for you young lady. You can carry on with my help. It was telling me lies. LIES.
So yesterday & today have been withdrawal days again. Going back to limited coffee intake, no soda at work, only tea in the afternoon, and no caffeinated soda at dinner (I had some diet root beer) On the way home from work my head was pounding. I can't be sure if it's sinus pressure from the storm, eye strain from 8 hours of computer work, stress causing my headache disorder to comeback, or caffeine withdrawal. Because the pain was (is) really bad I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got a medium coffee, with the hope of by the time I got home the caffeine would kick in.
It hasn't and my headache is still prevalent. I wanted to get some thoughts down about it, about how I struggle with it, how it's hard to quit you. It sounds corny that I'm worried about this. It's just my way of keeping the variables down if I have to go back into the doctors to try to figure out why my headaches never stop. Right now I don't have to go and I want to do everything in my control to make sure I won't have to again.
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