The Break Up

Friday after I presented at my conference, I was able to get dinner & drinks and enjoy the company of a "first time caller, long time reader" new friend. She also runs and while we were getting to know each other and ask lots of questions about careers, family, friends, etc. we happened to talk about running a lot. I talked about the fact that I have 12 days until I run the Rabbit Ramble 4 mile race. While technically I know I can do it, the mental battle is what is the worst part.

It made a big difference for me. Talking about running, thinking about running. I told her that if she hadn't seen a run posted to my Facebook Saturday that she had full permission to "yell" at me. So I made the decision Saturday to go back to my parents house, do laundry, and run the full 3 miles my schedule told me I had to do. Along the way, I had gotten text messages asking what was I doing, asking if I wanted to meet up for St. Patrick's parties, etc. It all hit me again. The metaphor.

I had to "break up" with theater. Now, there are all kinds of break-ups. I'm sure we all know this. In real life, I'm usually a jerk. I usually just go cold turkey and cut off all connections. However, this break-up with theater has been going on for ever. I planed on ending it after Laramie. You know, having a good nice time and just giving it a good closure. I was ready for that. Then, there were favors, opportunities, friendships, that all just seemed to happen one right after another. When I would walk away, she'd pull me back in for more and I would stay, even though I knew I was unhappy with staying.

But see running wasn't around really, I mean she was there but she was quiet and waiting her turn but I couldn't see her, couldn't hear her, so I kept choosing theater over running. I also kept choosing theater over (non-theater) friendships. I didn't like that. So, last night while with theater friends (and seeing Lucky Stiff at Russell Sage) I declared it. I said it out loud. I am breaking up with theater. She has to be patient and wait her turn again. Fall & Winter are her times. Spring & Summer, well I have a different commitment I have to honor.

A commitment to myself.